When FUD becomes FUDGE

I travel.

Sometimes, I travel a lot.

And when it comes to the ins-and-outs of hauling my carcass from city to city – I have learned a thing or two.

So when I come up against a bright and shiny, newly-trained, cross-selling boy scout car rental clerk, it isn’t very often that the grizzled road warrior comes up with the short straw in this interaction.

I recognize that every car company probably compensates their people differently — but some of them make it so blatently obvious, I almost feel bad for the boy scout car rental clerk in that position.

Apparently at least one training program trains their boy scouts clerks on the use of FUD. As in Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

Basic 101 sales strategy.

From a recent interaction:

Him: Sir, it looks like we have you in a two door Yaris.

Me: Yeah, that is fine.

Him: Sir, are you sure you want the Yaris? You are in town for more than just a few days and many people report that with the Yaris, they wished they would have upgraded.

Me: Kid, when you travel as much as I do, you could care less about what kind of car it is. But since the money that I am about to give you for this Yaris is mine, as long as this thing gets me from point A to point B, I am good with that.

Him: Ok sir, would you like buy our complete coverage protection?

Me: No.

Him: Ok, you do realize sir that you will be responsible for all chips, dents, dings and any damage to the car, correct?

Me: Yes.

Him: Ok sir and would you like to pay $2.47 per gallon for gas here or buy it on the outside where it is $3.00 or higher?

Me: Ok, you got me on that one. I want to bring it back empty, so I will take the gas.

Him: Ok, here you go – you are in spot 205.

Me: Thanks.

And as I walk out to spot 205 expecting to see a two-door Yaris parked in my spot, what do I see?

A Nissan Maxima.

Check Mate.

I won.

Grizzled road warrior: 1. Young cross-selling boy-scout: 0.

Moral of the story is this: if some rookie comes in with the FUD, make sure you send him packin’ with the FUDGE (FUD didn’t work, and now I Get Even) home until he learns to start benefit selling.

Because when it comes to closing sales guys, FUD rarely works.

Try ego-gratification.

All old sales guys have bald spots they don’t want to admit to.